[...Okay, he does, but about the normal stuff, like if he's eating things other than candy or staying up too late playing video games or not doing his homework. But Himuro was back so like, no worries about that stuff much anymore either. Leave it to Himuro.]
[ That actually requires some thought, and it takes about ten minutes before Akashi completely responds. And yes, the little bubble that says he's typing continues to show until he's done sending his next message. ]
I've yet to tell him about my true self. He met a different side of me, and that's who he made a bond with. They were partners, after all... I claim to be his partner in basketball now, but sometimes, I do wonder if Mayuzumi-san can tell the difference. And I do intend to tell him... because I'd like to ask if his feelings for me and the Akashi he once knew are the same, or if there's any more work I need to put in because he won't be seeing the old me again.
[ That's confusing. ]
But for actual differences... I can hold his hand now, for one, and we kiss, and we make love. I still get just as excited when we talk or when we play or when we do things together, but my chest swells and I feel even more fortunate when we do, because I know that the time he's spent is because he likes me, not just because he has to be with me.
As teammates, our playing styles matched. We were able to bring out the best in one another as light and shadow... even more so now that we're seeing each other. I think I've become a better person because of Mayuzumi-san, and I'd like to think I've made him better, too. It's my job as his soulmate, after all.
[On one hand, he asked Akashi specifically because he knew Akashi would give a Real Answer. He's not really expecting the essay he got, but he's not surprised about that either.
He reads it carefully and seriously, making a slight face--TOO MUCH INFORMATION, PLEASE AKACHIN SPARE HIM-- as he didn't really want to imagine Akashi having sex with anyone, feeling a sudden flash of irritation that has him huffing out a breath.]
But it wasn't weird, going from teammates and partners to... further partners? Lovers?
[Whatever they might call it.]
Having sex seems like it'd be awkward...
[He's got like, An Idea of how it works--he's been living here for a while okay he's seen some things--but it's not something he'd ever spent a serious amount of time thinking about. But he can't imagine himself having sex with Akashi, let alone Himu--
Okay no, he can. He definitely can.
He has some regrets about starting this conversation now.]
It did get a little frightening. I was afraid Mayuzumi-san wouldn't want to do anything with me anymore if I made a mistake... but he's a lot more patient with me now. Our partnership only strengthened because of the development.
[ Murasakibara is being insightful, though. What's up with that? ]
[He's not sure where else to go with that statement.]
He left and it was weird. At first it wasn't so bad. But then I kept trying to do things like message him or go to his room to talk to him. It was weird.
Then he came back and I don't want him out of my sight very long.
I don't know. It seems about the same, but a little. I don't know. More? It's not as though I don't spend time apart from him and all, but it was weird thinking he might not always be there. I don't like it.
Because I'm not confessing anything to YOU. It's not like I have to worry about things being weird between us if I was reading into things too much or rejected or something.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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I'm pretty sure it's actually impossible to forget you, Akachin.
[Oh geez this is getting into Feelings And Stuff. He feels inexplicably a little embarrassed.]
Of course we'll be friends. Geez, you worry too much.
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[ He can't help it, ok?? :( ]
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[...Okay, he does, but about the normal stuff, like if he's eating things other than candy or staying up too late playing video games or not doing his homework. But Himuro was back so like, no worries about that stuff much anymore either. Leave it to Himuro.]
Akachin, can I ask a question about Mayuchin?
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[ Jeez. That's not gay at all. ]
What is it?
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You guys were already teammates and kinda close, right? What's so different now?
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[ That actually requires some thought, and it takes about ten minutes before Akashi completely responds. And yes, the little bubble that says he's typing continues to show until he's done sending his next message. ]
I've yet to tell him about my true self. He met a different side of me, and that's who he made a bond with. They were partners, after all... I claim to be his partner in basketball now, but sometimes, I do wonder if Mayuzumi-san can tell the difference. And I do intend to tell him... because I'd like to ask if his feelings for me and the Akashi he once knew are the same, or if there's any more work I need to put in because he won't be seeing the old me again.
[ That's confusing. ]
But for actual differences... I can hold his hand now, for one, and we kiss, and we make love. I still get just as excited when we talk or when we play or when we do things together, but my chest swells and I feel even more fortunate when we do, because I know that the time he's spent is because he likes me, not just because he has to be with me.
As teammates, our playing styles matched. We were able to bring out the best in one another as light and shadow... even more so now that we're seeing each other. I think I've become a better person because of Mayuzumi-san, and I'd like to think I've made him better, too. It's my job as his soulmate, after all.
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He reads it carefully and seriously, making a slight face--TOO MUCH INFORMATION, PLEASE AKACHIN SPARE HIM-- as he didn't really want to imagine Akashi having sex with anyone, feeling a sudden flash of irritation that has him huffing out a breath.]
But it wasn't weird, going from teammates and partners to... further partners? Lovers?
[Whatever they might call it.]
Having sex seems like it'd be awkward...
[He's got like, An Idea of how it works--he's been living here for a while okay he's seen some things--but it's not something he'd ever spent a serious amount of time thinking about. But he can't imagine himself having sex with Akashi, let alone Himu--
Okay no, he can. He definitely can.
He has some regrets about starting this conversation now.]
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[ Murasakibara is being insightful, though. What's up with that? ]
What's on your mind?
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[He's not sure where else to go with that statement.]
He left and it was weird. At first it wasn't so bad. But then I kept trying to do things like message him or go to his room to talk to him. It was weird.
Then he came back and I don't want him out of my sight very long.
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[ Because it feels like it! ]
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[ What are you getting at here, Mukkun?? ]
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[RIght??? This is all So Much.]
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[A pause.]
Is it really that simple?
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I'll think about it. I'll talk to him.
[Eventually, when he can figure out what really to say. Maybe he'll just shove these messages at his face to read and go from there...]
Thanks, Akachin.
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Sure. But what will you do if it goes bad?
[He's a lil curious]
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It won't.
[ He is absolute. ]