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Keywords:

• currently wearing a bowl of frosting

Comment: credit @ messala on DW for i'm pretty sure all of them?? most of them at least....

Description: on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment

Keywords:

• I'm so hungry and so lazy

Comment: that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.

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• I'm covered in bruises and scratches.

Comment: I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals

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• So my dad just asked

Comment: "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"

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• Boredom is so much more tolerable

Comment: when you're stoned off your ass.

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• thank you for being so understanding

Comment: of my weak stomach and poor self-control

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• God yes pancakes and booze

Comment: sounds like the best night ever.

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• Just made a secret hand shake

Comment: with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.

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• Who puts glitter on their vagina?

Comment: It’s all over my face and crotch.

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• Why did I wake up with a burrito

Comment: and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.

Keywords:

• All i want from a relationship

Comment: is to get drunk, watch pirates of the Caribbean, and have sex

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• did he think i wouldnt notice

Comment: the naked girl in the backseat

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• can we do this tomorrow?

Comment: ...i accidently got high.

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• i just woke up from a 4 hour nap

Comment: still drunk, to make mac n cheese.

Keywords:

• And by "sexually intimate"

Comment: you mean fuck buddies?